Maria

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 08:32:18 GMT

..Geez. If it isn't one thing, it's another huh? This place has more action than most television shows.

Here's where I wish I could actually do something, or say something that's even a bit helpful. All I can really do is thank anyone fighting those things, and hope that few people are hurt in the meantime.

I need to buy a gun.

Mon, 29 Dec 2008 09:00:26 GMT

Wanted: One roommate to share an apartment in Center-City, with myself and a kitten. I'm pretty easy-going and relaxed. S'long as you're not too messy, I'm not going to complain. I don't mind clutter, but I do mind six week old sandwiches being left in the fridge...creating penicillin. You get my drift.

So, if anyone needs a place, drop me a line. It's in a pretty convenient location, so..

I finally managed to get myself a "proper" job at one of the clubs in Center-City. I was really beginning to miss dancing, and it's so close to home. It's such a great atmosphere too; everyone's so lovely. I love freelance writing, but the money here is much, much better.

This isn't going to stop me from writing my novel, though. Sometimes I wonder if I really should be writing about Silent Hill. Hell, if it doesn't get someone's attention at least, then...

Sat, 27 Dec 2008 10:30:33 GMT

Is it possible to feel at peace, and uneasy all at the same time? Or is this just another one of those "Maria things"?

It has been beautiful out in the city, these past few days though. My first 'real' Christmas, and a new year coming just around the corner. A time for new starts, right?

James... Where are you? Are you out there at all? Do I really want to see you again?

Honestly, I wouldn't know what to do, or what to say. I miss you, but I hate you. And now I'm here, telling myself that I don't need you. Hiding in a strange world. Wondering why I'm even alive at all.

Is it that you still need me? If that's the case, then it's pretty pitiful, Mr. James Sunderland. And you've learned nothing...

Sat, 13 Dec 2008 05:02:35 GMT

Wow. Remind me never to drink vodka on an empty stomach ever again.

...I need to go shopping. ASAP.

003 - Video Upload/Voice Post

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 10:18:32 GMT

Don't ask me how, or why. She's a little wuss, and a brat, but I adore her.

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 08:02:59 GMT

Writing can truly soothe the soul. It eases our minds, and relieves us of our anxieties. I guess it can act as a kind of therapy; a way in which we can express our fears and worries through words. We can express what we feel, but cannot necessarily say.

We create our own worlds, and project them onto the real one with the desire to share them with others.

I tend to go walking a lot; mainly at the most ungodly hours. Insomnia will do that to you, after all. I've started carrying a little notebook with me, writing whenever I feel the inspiration. Someday, I'll finish it... This creation of mine. This little work in progress. It's scary at times, because sometimes you end up writing something that's a little too close to home.

...But they say you write best about what you know.

I really should try to get a decent night's sleep, but...

~~It gets too quiet at home. You start hearing things..~~

Sun, 30 Nov 2008 08:32:05 GMT

Well, here we are. Perhaps finally life will start to settle down, and if I'm really lucky, everything will work out for once. That might be some wishful thinking there, but I'm allowed to dream.

~~Sometimes I wish you were here... And other times, I'd be happy never to see you again. Pathetic, huh..~~

At least the apartment's nice.. There wasn't very much to unpack. ~~Ghosts don't own very much, really.~~ All I need is to find some real work. And a decent cafe.. I need my coffee, after all.

Somehow, I don't think I'm getting to sleep tonight.

ooc

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 13:33:06 GMT

This journal is now being used for cityofdesai. Please unfriend this journal if you are not a member of cityofdesai. Thanks! ♥

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 08:32:02 GMT

[Private - Except not really]

She called me Mary.

There's no escaping that name, is there? I just can't seem to... I shouldn't let it get to me, should I? I'm not Mary...

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 13:35:13 GMT

What in the world. I-I...

James..? Where are you?

011 - Text

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 21:04:04 GMT

I thought about burning them. My old clothes. The ones I wore in that town. I've put them aside; out of sight and out of mind, right? Too many memories...

My hair colour is growing out. You can clearly see the regrowth now... And? It's the same colour as her hair, which.. I guess makes sense, but..

It's like I'm slowly starting to become her reflection.. The last thing that I want is to look more and more like her.

Sometimes, when I look in the mirror, I wonder who it really is that I'm looking at..

I love nail polish that doesn't chip on the same day that you apply it. Who here would like to have their nails painted?

James? You get to be first. Because I'm generous, and it'd look good on you. Really.

I only have pink though, guys, so if you don't like pink, then I'm not the girl to come see.

010 - [Voice]

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 00:09:53 GMT

..You know, I'm going to say I've been playing oblivious, and leave it at that. What's going on now?

...Huh. I remember seeing these in Heaven's Night. Actually, I have a feeling these are from...

But how'd they get here? That's the question. Not that I'm complaining, but..

009 - Voice

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 11:39:13 GMT

Sometimes I wish there was more I could do. Unfortunately, I couldn't fight my way out of a paper bag, and I'm not exactly the most intelligent woman in Discedo. I promise you that much.

I can dance, but I'm not so sure how that can really help with anything.

...God, what am I rambling about? I guess I just wanted to say thanks to those who have been trying to keep this place as safe as it can be. You've done a far better job than I could ever do. My answer to a threat seems to be "shoot it", which isn't particularly helpful when you can't shoot the broad side of a barn. It's also, generally, not a very good answer to most things.

Anyway.. if anyone.. uh.. feels up to talking, I'll be around. It can be about anything, really. I don't mind at all.

008 - Text

Mon, 08 Sep 2008 07:45:34 GMT

Guess who hasn't been sleeping, again. I doubt I'm the only one suffering bouts of insomnia, but I'm sure not being able to sleep for a few days, and then suddenly passing out is a little unhealthy. Especially when it happens all the time..

..I think I've been holing myself up in here far too much, but...

Hey. Long time, no talk.. How have you been?

007 - [TEXT]

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 08:25:51 GMT

I've forgotten how long it's been since I first woke up in this place. I've been quiet, and I know it. I've had nothing to say. What can I say? I'm...

Well, the question is why am I here? It scared me.. not knowing what was going to happen to me after James.. It angered me that he was so willing to throw me away. Like I was nothing. But now that I'm here.. I don't know what to think. They can see me. They can talk to me. But why?

...I had a dream again. It was something like a dream, where I.. was I her? It felt so real; like I had lived that very moment once before, and yet I know I never have. I don't know the people around me, or the places and yet I feel that I need to remember, and...

When I wake up, it takes me just a moment to remember where I am..

It's probably something I should keep to myself. I think James is afraid of me. Or at least wary... There's no need to contribute to that, right?

I'm enjoying this peace. I've honestly been sleeping a little too much, though. I've just got zero energy at the moment. But I think it's high time I go looking for something even remotely edible. Fruit is on the top of my most wanted list, but I'd say there's a 0.0000001 chance of that happening. Oh well.

006 - [Voice]

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 22:24:38 GMT

[The communicator switches on, but apart from some shuffling movement and a slight cough, nothing can be heard. After a few seconds, she finally decides to speak, albeit very quietly.]

What..

I... never want to feel that ever again. That inability to take even one breath. I...

[Silence, and then..]

Need to get out.

Harry? Laura? Are you both.. okay?

Voice - 005

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 08:18:37 GMT

[All that can be heard is static; there's a woman's voice but it can barely be heard.]

J-
Can't breathe

I don- eel it anymo--

It hur- ts

Why did yo-
you

Jamess
James.. Where di- -ou go?

Harrry..?

Where.

004

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 20:46:24 GMT

It's happening again.. isn't it.

003

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 13:23:04 GMT

The madness never seems to end, does it? At least we can hope that the world is a little safer now. A little. Here's to hoping that things start taking a turn for the better, and soon.

I could... really.. use a glass of wine right now. It's a damn shame that I, undoubtedly, won't find anything like that around here, huh.

God, it's eerie around here. I'm thinking that someone ought to come keep me company, at least for a little while. I'm all alone here and.. I hate being on my own. This place gives me the creeps as it is, and, well...

There was something I meant to... Well, it can't be that important if I've forgotten about it. Oh well.

002

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 21:48:53 GMT

My God.. What the hell is going on? I..

Does he still need me? Is that why I'm here? I don't understand why I'm even alive, and on top of that, I've been able to speak with others. Others see me.

He's here. I'm here. There must be a reason for this. I'm just not so sure what that is.

001

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 07:13:18 GMT

When I woke up, I was all alone again. Is anyone.. here?

I can’t say that I approve of this change of scenery. It’s not a certain little town, that’s for sure. ~~But if it's not then why.. am I here?~~

So, does anyone want to help a girl out here, or am I going to have to help myself? That is if there is anyone here...

I wonder if… he’s here too..

OOC - Suggestions, Feedback and Plotting Post

Thu, 01 Dec 2005 03:07:11 GMT

Do you have a comment about Maria? Do you feel that there is something a little wrong about my portrayal? Any issues? Do you have suggestions as to how I could improve?

Use this post for concrit, questions about Maria and general plottage ideas and whatnot. Comment will be screened. I can also be reached via ashesofbutterfly on AIM, and via email at incendiastar[at]gmail[dot]com. ♥